Sunday Advice Column #49



Well, folks. We’re getting pretty close to the end of this advice column. Next week is the last, and since I’m going to be on vacation when it’s posted, it might be a short one. Of course, I might also be up super late drinking coffee and end up cranking out 2000 words. I’m just going to let fate decide.


On to your questions. They were really political this week, but I guess everything is these days.

What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

My parents put me in a Catholic school. I hated it at the time, but I am constantly amazed at how much better my education was than people I meet who went to public schools, especially in subjects like English and History. The schools I went to weren’t even that great or expensive. They were just run by people who actually cared whether or not we became useful members of society.

I’m still friends with a ton of people I went to school with. To my knowledge, none of them  have been insanely successful (no one’s a billionaire or famous), but quite a few of them are happy and doing well in their lives. Many own businesses and a lot of them have great families. Teenage me would probably be horrified that so many of them essentially become their parents, but with age I can see how beautiful this simple, suburban life can be.

Catholic school seemed awful at the time, but the discipline and study habits we were forced to adopt have really served me well over the years.

What would your computer say to you if it could talk?

Please stop dropping me.

What’s your take on the SV tech “giants” who reside on the council for this new administration? And with Uber CEO saying adios?


If you look back at history, titans of industry who worked with the ruling political class always seemed to get what they wanted in the end. This was as true of the first steam engine builders as it is of today’s app makers. So, this sort of public service is probably not being taken on to serve the public.

The Uber CEO bounced out under pressure from his consumers. Since a CEO’s job is to make as much money for their shareholders as possible, his resignation was probably the right move for his company. I do think it’s a shame that the masses are tar and feathering anyone who would work with Trump because eventually the only people left surrounding him will be people who don’t give a shit about the left and are untouchable by their social media rage.

Hey. I’m a Trump supporter but very liberal in many ways. In the current year in the Bay Area it seems like a large contingent of people seem like they think it is OK to physically attack and Trump folks as they are “Nazis.” So my question is should I let them attack and hurt me to make the point that the left has gone mad or should I physically fight back? 

To get right to your question, no, you should not let anyone attack you to make a point. There is already enough footage of people acting like twats at protests. Those aren’t going to change anyone’s opinion and neither will your martyrdom (or potential victory).

If you support Trump, you already did the most important part for your cause: you voted for him. Unless you want attention, I just don’t see the point in clashing with protesters in the streets. Trump seems to give zero fucks about them, so why should you?




Gavin McInnes, a right wing media personality, was maced by Antifa at an NYU event a couple of days ago because anarchists incorrectly identify him as a Nazi (though he does seem to be an asshole). He’s basically a Libertarian comedian who figured out there is money to be made with modernized Gangs of New York cosplay. He formed a “Western chauvinist”  organization called Proud Boys and they are now engaged in physical clashes with Antifa protesters in New York. At least one Proud Boy was assaulted at the recent UC Berkeley protest.

McInnes had something to say about the escalation of hostilities I thought was extremely accurate. He called it “Mods vs Rockers at Brighton Beach all over again.” I don’t know if he realizes it, but this is as heavy a criticism to his people as it is the other side. All this shit is just a fashion statement. It ultimately doesn’t matter.


These people may as well be in Westside Story. We’ve seen it over and over again throughout history. Catholics vs Protestants. Greasers vs Socies. Capulets vs Montagues. Humans like lining up against each other and clashing. If you need proof, you can find hours of footage of brawls on World Star Hip Hop.

When these gangs and mobs get politicized, elites always gain. At the very top the reptilian overlords of the world are moving their chess pieces all over the board. If you want to get out there and mix it up because it’s fun for you, go for it. But never forget you are just a pawn to the ruling class.

Are there any good things to come out of the Trump travel ban?

It’s almost impossible for a layman to know if this sort of thing will keep anyone safe, which is its intended goal. So judging it on that is beyond me.

If anything, I like that people actually give a shit about it. During Obama’s administration all kinds of shit went down and no one was in the streets over it.

The people in charge have shown over and over again that they don’t have our best interests at heart. We should be checking every god damned thing they do.

What did someone do that made you think they were really smart? Were they?

At every regular job you’ll find tasks that are repeated robotically. You do them as you were taught without thinking much about them. When I was working at my old nightclub job our dishwashing machine was on the left side of the bar, but there were an equal number of glasses needed on a shelf to the right side of the bar.

For years, the barbacks (including me in the old days) would unload half the dishes on the left side, then hold stacks of glasses cradled in their right arm and walk them over to the right side. One night our new barback, my good friend Eric Eng, grabbed the entire rack of dishes, walked it over to the right side, and loaded it up. Carrying the rack was easier and doing the right side all at once was more efficient.

I know this might sound really stupid to most people, but I count that as a true act of intelligence. He made an improvement dozes of people missed. These little advancements usually go unheralded, but I am always impressed with them when I see them.

Not only was he one of the best barbacks of all time, but he can use machine guns and has a nursing degree. Eric would be an early draft pick on my zombie survival team.

What is a brain teaser that is very short and extremely hard for adults?

The news.




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