Alex Jones is America’s Poet


Conspiracy theories are ghost stories we tell about the best boogeyman ever invented, the government. The government is the all time best villain. No matter what you’re affiliations and obsessions, you’ll find something to worry about when you look to the government. This is how it has always been.

Conspiracy theories are also historical fiction that takes place in the present. They don’t need to make sense. It don’t need to be completely, or even partially, backed up by the facts. They just needs to be entertaining. If the tale can be linked to something underhanded that actually happened, like COINTELPRO or Operation Northwoods, that’s even better.


Alex Jones, gets it right. No matter how far fetched, disproven, or impossible his theory, he tells the tale with gusto. He’s imminently watchable like an old time televangelist.

InfoWars is the 700 Club for Libertarians.

To listen to Jones do his thing is to watch a great American performer at work. He speaks extemporaneously, without notes, flowing full speed from one idea to the next, always returning to his villains, The Globalists. These are the people who don’t want you to have anything you want to have. That includes: freedom, good steaks, hydroponic weed, full-auto .50 cal machine guns, lifted trucks, psilocybin mushrooms, heavy metal, Hustler Magazine, and anything with a bald eagle on it.

Jones’ voice is a commanding bark. It’s your dad’s drunk friend yelling at Alabama fans for how much their team sucks. It’s the soul rending scream of a pro-wrestler in decline. It is awesome. It is the trumpet of Revelations. 

He evades problematic questions like an F-14 barrel rolling away from a ground-to-air rocket. Once the wild, but controlled spin is complete, he hammers the throttle and jets away into whatever happens to be next. Tower 7. Pizzagate. Hollow Earth. The Bilderberg Group.

No one has been more well situated to uncover vast Democrat funded pedophile rings and sell water filters. This is a master at work. This is America’s poet.



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