Assault Bike Update


I was supposed to be on the road right now, but plans changed a bit. I took the extra time to get myself some fenders and a rack for my bike.

The fenders seem to already be doing their job. I got soaking wet, of course, but I didn’t really get any mud or road grime on my pants. They aren’t the lightest or the heaviest. But they’re ok. Aesthetically, they don’t really fit the bike, but that’s kind of irrelevant considering it’s an ugly bike.

The front rack is ridiculous. I wanted something to fit a gym bag and my u-lock on, but this is overkill. I’m wiling to bet if I crashed, this thing would fair better than any other components including the frame. It adds a lot of weight to the bike. I’m not 100% sure I like how it handles, either. There’s a strong chance I’ll be taking this off if I don’t use it too much. The brand is Wald.

With that I’m done leveling up this beast. My goal was to end up with a bicycle version of a KLR 650. It fits the bill for me: cheap ($550 with lights, rack, fenders), comfortable, and functional. I’m probably not going to be doing any serious touring with it, but it’s perfect for jamming around Oakland.

Bikes make such sense for living a frugal, minimilist life. If I ever need to work on it, there are bike rack & tool stations all over near my office. And bicycle mechanics are insanely cheap compared to motorcycle mechanics. I basically have someone else do all the work because it’s so cheap and infrequently needed.

I have to admit, I did strap my tactical tomahawk on the rack just to see how reachable it would be in a zombie situation. I think it would be a total success. If you were scavenging for supplies in a ravaged city, this would be perfect. No noise. No gas.

I’ve been thinking a little bit about the novel World War Z. In my sort of expert opinion, it’s what I think humans would do. They’d man up like their grandparents did in WWII and crush the undead.

Until industrial production came back online, I bet more people would be riding bikes. And the first thing to do would be to have people get the farms back up and running. For a couple years it would probably look like a disturbed farmers market scene.

It’s too bad The Walking Dead is so stuck on its own bleakness. There are funny moments, but no one ever grows or builds on anything. A possible exception might be The Kingdom, but most attempts at survival, Alexandria included, are ludicrously precarious.

It also drives me crazy when those characters just walk away from easy to kill zombies. How many of those ignored fuckers come back to kill people in later episodes? Enough of them to make it a rule that if you’re within 30 feet of one or two, they’re easy to kill, and you have the skill to kill, you have to kill them.

It might take years, but eventually the human survivors would make it far enough along to cause some attrition of their ranks. I could imagine some of those large scale trucks they use for mining could be refitted with thresher blades to roll over herds of zombies.

Anyway. Bikes are fun and the just might allow humans to return after an undead extinction event.

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