Way back when the Republican field was still flush and everyone thought Donald Trump was a joke, I made a $100 bet at a dinner party that he would be the next president. It’s not because I think he’s good. It’s not because I support him. I didn’t vote for him.
I made that bet because I believe people are scared and dumb and bad.
I also thought that Hillary was a weak candidate. I didn’t know anyone who was really excited by her. Everyone I knew loved Bernie. But that’s not how the Democratic party works. We now have the emails to back up the conspiracy theories. Sorry if you’re die hard for Hillary, but Bernie would’ve crushed Trump.
Shit. I hate that I’m always right about things. I wish I could pick winners. I wanted to make the last 100 days of this blog upbeat and positive. Oh Baby Jesus, why are you testing me?
But you know what? I have strong (legal) weed and I’m hanging out with a cool dog in a beautiful home. I’m going to stay positive. And here are a few reasons you should too:
- Comedy is going to be awesome. Like seriously awesome. We may lose a few Lena Dunham types to Canada, but we will have Alec Baldwin’s SNL Trump performances to keep us happy.
- CNN and all the rest of the creeps are over. They created this circus. They profited off it. No one trusts them anymore.
- Comedy is going to be awesome. For real.
- The old GOP is pretty much done. He isn’t a true conservative and chances are Trump is going to turn his orange guns on his own party.
- At least it’s not Marco Rubio. Seriously, fuck that guy.
That’s all I’ve got. Positive thinking isn’t my bag, but I’m going to keep it up and see how it goes. Stay tuned for some more high quality pablum. I’m also going to try and figure out the best place to donate that $100 to, because I’m pretty sure the gods will punish me for using it for my own gain.
Or maybe not, their will is clearly unknowable.