Suck My Nuts: The Walking Dead Season 7 Reaction

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As the host of a popular-amongst-a-couple-hundred-of-my-friends horror podcast, I figure I ought to muster up some opinion about the season 7 opener. Expect spoilers ahead.

I thought the whole mechanism of teasing the deaths out through the episode was super corny. If you sat down to binge watch the whole show right now, this episode would seem really goofy and unnecessarily repetitive. That said, if you’re like me and have been waiting to find out who dies for months now, it’s kind of tense and fun.

Let’s get right into the deaths. I expected Glen to die, but I didn’t see Abraham’s ticket getting punched. He was one of my favorites because he still had a sense of humor after everything. I think with him gone, the show will need to figure out a few ways to punch up the laughs. Of course, the laughs are just there to make the sad shit seem worse, so maybe it’s just a wash. The subtle peace sign Abraham threw out to Sarah was some real sad shit.

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Like I said, I thought Glen was a goner for sure. It’s what happens in the comic and they needed to kill someone important so you believe the show isn’t fucking around anymore, inserting real danger back into the plot. And if you’re going to off a primary Season 1 survivor, he was the only real choice. You can’t kill Rick, killing his kid would send the whole show down a different path, no network is ever going to execute a pregnant lady so you know Maggie’s clear, and Darryl’s way too popular (but so is the actor, so he may be stepping out shortly. Don’t be surprised if he bites it this season).

I’d be willing to bet Darryl goes out in a blaze of glory. They’re for sure going to make him blame himself for Glen’s death, and he’ll go on a full emo vengeance fest.

I don’t think I was expecting Glen’s death to be so graphic. The makeup they did for him looks incredible. I used to have this book that was full of graphic death photos and he really looks like some of the corpses that received severe head trauma. His gurgling, “Maggie I’ll find you” was a nice, gruesome touch. As was his hands twitching after Negan pulverized his head.

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Apparently people have been complaining about how graphic this episode was because it was too much for their kids. Hell, I’d probably be the kind of asshole that let my kids watch any crazy ass shit they wanted, but you’d never hear me bitching at the show. These people are buzzkill nanny state dickheads who need to take some ownership of their bullshit lives.

The whole drama with Rick trying to get the axe was kind of dumb to me. I guess it shows how in control Negan sees himself. But Rick fighting his way out of being surrounded by zombies has happened so many times it’s basically a non-threat. I did, however, think Negan was going to cut Rick’s hand off after he found the alcohol in the RV. Apparently the expense of shooting the show with a green screened hand (like the effect on Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road) is prohibitive enough to keep his hand on, for now.

I did like Carl’s “just cut it off” attitude. I could see him coming under the wing of Negan and transferring his paternal needs onto him since he always gets extra grumpy when he thinks Rick’s being a pussy.

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There’s a lot of effort from the professional nerd herd about how they’re either done with this show or disappointed with it. Not me, it’s the same as it’s always been; the soap opera I’ve wanted since I was 13. It’s not complex and it doesn’t need to be.

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