Sunday Advice Column #31

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After returning to the usual practice of asking for submissions, I now have quite a few questions to go through this week. This is excellent news because it means I don’t have to throw myself into a hell-pit or any other anti-social nonsense I was planning.

The first piece of advice I’ll offer is unsolicited: don’t wear minimal shoes for running distances over 10 miles. I know all the minimal shoe arguments. I ran a full marathon in a pair of four years old heavily used Nike Frees. I’ve run all of my half in minimal shoes. I think today was the last time for me.

I set a pretty decent time (2:00:32) in today’s Tibruon Half Marathon, but I am really beat up in my hips. Thicker shoes would’ve save my body a considerable amount of pounding. I also could’ve done a little more training. The only running I did for this race prep was a very slow 3 miles last weekend.

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I don’t think the minimal running is too bad of a plan. If you’re lifting weights and doing a lot of cardio boosting met-con stuff, you can get pretty fit for distance. I don’t think it’s probably best for getting your fastest time, but an average Crossfitter or yogi or P90xer should be able to beat 2:30:00 in a half marathon if they aren’t too beat up.

If there’s any physical task I seem to be built for, it’s distance running. I’m not super fast  or anything, but I do ok with no training and I can basically just run through discomfort because I have a fairly high tolerance from pain. I think this comes from major dental work and frequent hospitalizations as a kid. Either that, or just my natural meanness takes over.

On to the questions!

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if Halloween was next weekend, what would be the most inappropriate, too-soon costume? 

Well, for too soon status, it would have to be something pretty recent. And most inappropriate would definitely need to involve race. That pretty much means you’d need a costume based on police shootings and protests. So…maybe sexy cop arresting BLM protester?

For the record, I will be Saul from Pineapple Express again this year. Either that or cross country running Forrest Gump.

How Should I Get Over My Ex? 

The conventional wisdom says you should cut your hair and fuck a bunch of randoms. I disagree with this methodology. Nothing can bum you out quite like a romantic evening with someone you end up hating. And one-night-stands are a great way to meet this type of person.

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The best thing to do, in my opinion, is get obsessed with the gym and whatever skill you want to develop. For example, if Mrs. Lott decided to leave me right now, I would be at the gym every morning and spend as much time as possible reading and writing.

What you’re trying to do here is become a much hotter, more successful version of yourself so your ex is saddened by your excellence. This will also help you meet a higher caliber mate in the future.

Remember, your options are only as good as your abs and income.

Is a vegan diet worth all the effort? sometimes it feels like more pain than benefit… and I miss cheese.

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Well, I’m something of an expert on this topic because I live with a hardcore vegan, therefore most of what I eat is vegan. Unless I’m out with my friends, then I sometimes go off the rails into a murder feast.

All I can tell you is my experience. When I eat vegan junk food or normal vegan garbage, I feel every bit as crappy as I do on a Standard American Diet. My performance isn’t anything special and I don’t have better energy.

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However, when I dial it in a bit and eat mostly fruit and crazy healthy recipes, the benefits I’ve seen have been considerable. My recovery is amazing. It’s easy to stay lean. It’s relatively inexpensive to eat this way. And my cardio is great. I also have almost no inflammation or joint pain.

If I was more disciplined I’d probably rock a mostly fruit diet with the occasional cheat meal with friends. That said, the cleaner my diet, the less I crave meat. It’s only when I eat bullshit fake meats that I start craving real meats.

So is it worth it? I don’t know, but I could see myself going that way down the road.

What are your election predictions for November? How will Millenials vote vs. Baby Boomers?

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I’m kind of with Michael Moore on this one. I think Trump is going to win. I agree with Moore that angry voters don’t care about him; they see him as “a human molotov cocktail” and are ready to burn it all down.

I have made $200 in bets that Trump will win. However, I don’t want him to win. I don’t really have any good ideas about who should. I know a lot of you are passionate Hillary voters, but I just can’t do it. I like guns and I hate oligarchy. I guess that unites me with a lot of the “low information” voters the media likes to paint as idiots.

I think Millenials are going to be pretty split for Trump and Hillary, but will show up in record low numbers. Baby Boomers, who are 100% responsible for how fucked up things are, will probably show up in greater numbers for Clinton. The Trump voters seems to be low to middle class Gen-Xers and  poor whites. I think they will be voting in shockingly large numbers.

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Have you ever tried out meditation to manage the malaise?

No. I don’t imagine I will as long as I have weed and goals.

What’s the best thing I can do to help someone living on the street?

I think you should give food, warm clothing, or money directly to them. Sure, they might spend it on drugs and alcohol, but god, if there’s ever a time to do drugs and alcohol, it’s when you’re living in a tent under a bridge.

The main thing to always keeping mind is that these are humans. They aren’t saints and they aren’t monsters. They’re just your fellow primates and they could use some help. The people who live on the streets here in West Oakland seem pretty mellow. A lot of them have been here for years and I consider them neighbors.

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If you’re going to give to a group, it should be food based. At work, we volunteered with the Alameda Food Bank and I was highly impressed with their efforts. They’re really well organized and have great buying power. They can pretty much turn a dollar into like five dollars worth of food because of their relationships with food producers.

Because they have so much volunteer labor, they are able to operate very lean. That means a lot of the money you give them goes right to providing food.

Another group I’ve always like is Food Not Bombs. They have a really simple program: get food or money for food, make the food, and give it to hungry people.

Do you regret letting an amazing person leave your life? 

No. Everyone I miss was taken by drugs or disease. Everyone out of my life is out of it on purpose.

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What is something you did for your career that really paid off?

This is more of a lifestyle thing, but I’ve always kept my expenses pretty low. This has allowed me to make moves with less fear. Being out of debt is even better for this. If you don’t have to worry about money, you can chase passion. Although, chasing passion isn’t always the right move. Lately I’ve been kind of wishing I chased law school.

Are there times you feel you’re a total weirdo and if so, how do you come to terms with it?

I can’t ever remember a time or place where I felt like I fit in. The way I was raised made me such an outsider from day one that I’ve never really felt comfortable around most people. However, I have learned that confidence and being open to friendship usually makes it a non-issue.

I love weirdos and I think the people I’m friends with now appreciate my eccentricities. I imagine it would be the same for everyone else. The world is so fucking homogenized, I think it could use more weirdos.

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