Trump’s Speech is Dystopian Fan Fiction


For many, this speech was like watching the unblinking eye of Sauron call to Middle Earth’s armies of evil. It was like watching a speech if we had the glasses from They Live on. It was as if The Walking Dead’s Nagen took his barbwire wrapped baseball bat to the head of hope itself. If you’ve ever wondered what a State of the Union speech would sound like if the figurehead in chief was honest about the impending apocalypse, now you know.

The Republican party spun its head around and vomited green bile in front of the world. If CNN’s polls are to be believed, 75% of their viewers, not exactly the Fox faithful, reacted positively to Trump’s speech. According to their own data, which they completely downplayed, 56% of their viewers would consider voting for him. Think about that. This is from the channel the Right calls “The Clinton News Network.” I’ve long suspected humans prefer super villains and now we have proof.


It doesn’t help that we hear the words “the state of the union is strong” each year from our Presidents, no matter what is happening. Lately it seems like a load of bullshit. I don’t know anyone who feels confident about the future. Not one soul. Nearly everyone is living check to check. Any tension you can name is at an all time high. Companies, even the friendly ones with heartfelt mission statements, will cut you loose the second their consultants tell them to. Murder rates are up. Tent cities are everywhere.

Sure, there’s the occasional cat cuddling with a duck video to warm our hearts, but we all know it’s pablum. Cats like to kill birds and pretending otherwise is foolishness.


Trump’s speech was full of inaccuracies and blame, just like all political speeches. Sometimes you don’t notice those things because the person speaking is telling you things you already believe, blaming people you already hate. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see an equally dark speech from Hillary, just with a different set of enemies. And as her lead diminishes and the world burns, we just might get one. If the lack of success of the planned protests at the RNC are any indication of the Left’s growing tepidness, she will have to do something to energize her base.

The choice between Trump and Hillary is really just a choice of who to blame. Who will be the scapegoat for your failures? Who is taking from you? Who spoiled the milk? Who left the toilet seat up? Who farted?

No matter which ghoul takes the reigns of this hellbound carriage we call America, half of you will be angry. Half of you will think it’s finally going in the right direction. All of you will notice rising heat and the choking scent of brimstone. These people have no solutions for you. You have to have solutions for you.

Personally, all I want to know is when I should gas up the last of the V8 Interceptors. My pick, Gary Johnson, is probably not going to do that well, even though he could actually win if everyone who says they hate Hillary and Trump voted for him. He’s on the ballot in all 50 states. Remember, only you can prevent Revelations.





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