Sunday Advice Column #19

frank

Years ago I was a regular journal writer. It’s not much different than blogging, except no one sees it. Which of course means it’s a bit more revealing. I still have all those journals and they are hard to read. Mainly because my handwriting is so bad. But also on account of they being testimony of how god damned stupid I’ve been.

I flipped through a few of them recently and noticed I didn’t write that often when I met Mrs. Lott. I was too busy having fun, doing wild things, and falling in love. The most detailed writing I did was when I was feeling sorry for myself or withdrawn. I have a tendency to hide out and avoid people and there have been some recent months where if I didn’t have to go in to work, I might not even talk to a soul.

The last few weeks haven’t been like that. I’ve been making time for old friends and newer friends. Sitting face to face with them and doing the good things friends should do together: shoot guns, watch fights, listen to music, and talk about things you can’t say in polite conversation with sheep. It has been, as they say in the South, a real hoot. I’m a bit worn down from all that fun, so this might not be up to my usual standards, but here goes anyway.

Should I delete my ignorant/racist “friends”, or keep them around add on that hopefully something I post will sink in? (Spoiler: I already deleted them. Lol)

If you want to dump somebody for having onerous outlooks on life, then kick them the fuck out. But remember, just because someone doesn’t fall in line with the crowd, doesn’t mean they have hate in their heart. Conversely, be wary of anyone trying too hard to look like a special, ultra-concerned white knight. There’s always duplicity and darkness in those types.

Was Charles Manson right? 

Due to the timing of this question, I’m going to assume you’re asking about whether or not The Beatles hid secret messages about a coming race war in their White Album that only Manson could understand, leading to his evil murder spree, which he thought would help kick start racial Ragnarok.

No. He was wrong.

What are the two best things life has given you? 

My wife and consistent victory over my enemies.

Do you believe in experience or advice?

Well, I write an advice column, but nothing beats rolling up your sleeves and swinging the axe yourself.

How can you get a significant other to stop being negative about everything? 

You’d have to consult Mrs. lott on this one as I’m the dark cloud in our little piece of the sky. This is likely the age of Kali Yuga or the warm up for Revelations, so I don’t know negativity isn’t warranted. It shouldn’t be directed to the innocent though. I always like to direct negativity towards myself where it will either motivate me to improve or turn into cancer.

What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done?

I chased a purse snatcher, caught him, and pepper sprayed him for revenge. Either that or moving to California on a whim with less than $100.

Do you use a different name at Starbucks? 

No. I think anonymity is for pussies. I’m Chad Fred Lott on everything. I guess I might feel different if my name was hard to pronounce.

How do I worship the devil to bring misfortune upon my enemies?

Devil worship is fairly misunderstood. The most popular variety comes to us from Anton Lavay. It’s essentially the same type of selfish outlook on life Ayn Rand advocated, except there’s some fake rituals and a lot of dressing up.

The Satanic Bible is largely plagiarized from an older book called Might Makes Right by a person writing under the pen name Ragnar Redbeard. I’ve always like the original book better. It’s basically about becoming more of a bad ass and rejecting the slave morality of Christianity so you can stop pretending to love everyone equally. This is all of course cribbed from Nietzsche. Basically, the more awesome you become, the weaker your enemies will be in relation, resulting in their misfortune when interacting with you.

Here’s the thing about devil worship, though. If you believe in the Devil, then you basically have to accept the existence of God. If God is real, then worshipping the devil means you lose in the end. This is why a lot of occultists and black metal dorks shifted towards older forms of heathenism and primitive feral religions and Chaos Magick. That stuff is all more interesting philosophically than garden variety Satanism.

What’s the most pissed off you’ve ever been?

Mrs. Lott had this total cunt of a friend that showed her ass at our wedding. It’s too long of a story to tell here, but I frequently pray for her painful demise. If I could choose, she would be chewed to death by rats while drowning in raw sewage.

How should a person choose their career? 

Income potential first, everything else second. Try not to pick anything that’s too hard for you. Careers are necessary evils and your passion should be reserved for friends and loved ones.

 

 

 

 

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