I’ve been around total fuck-ups my whole life. I guess you could say I have it in my blood, but I try like mad to sidestep that fate. Lately I’ve felt that blood take a bit of a hold. I let my foot up from the pedal for half a second and the enemy is gaining. The enemy is always me.
The number of times I’ve had my account down to nothing or skipped eating to make rent keeps me from ever thinking I’m that smart. How could anyone with half a clue trade so much of their time for next to nothing? But that’s loser talk and I can’t afford to listen. It’s a critical time for me, all of us really. If any of you feel that tightness, that ever present edge, the looming disaster, you know what I mean. If you don’t you must be dumb, or born rich. Shit, I wish that was me.
If I had it all to do again I’d go harder earlier. I have to go hard now. There is no rest because the time is shorter than it has ever been. That’s true for all you breathing now. It’s possible some of you will be dead within a year. It’s time to get after it.