After writing yesterday’s post about my old bartending career and hanging out with an old friend from the bar today, I’ve become a bit nostalgic about those days. Don’t get me wrong, I never want to pour another drink ever again, but I do miss the people. Which is my fault.
The people I knew back then were what the charmingly savage kids of today call “ride or die” friends. I knew if I was in a fight they wouldn’t ghost. We told lies for each other and made each other laugh. It was always us against the assholes who paid to get in.
When I quit the bar I was probably two or three years past the time I should’ve left. I really hated going in and I really hated being around drunks. I haven’t drank in like 14 years and I never used to mind if other people did, but at some point I just couldn’t stand being ordered around. Especially when it was some young San Francisco rich kid. Those little flat brimmed hat twats combine everything bad about frat boys and everything bad about progressives. It’s an intolerable mix.
Once I got out of the nightlife, I never wanted to look back. I’m already bad at staying in touch with people and transitioning into the daytime muggle world quickly separated me from an entire group of people I knew for more than 10 years. I keep up with many of them on Facebook, occasionally we like each others’ pictures or whatnot. One of the reasons I’m so active on social media and consistent with writing this blog is it gives me a chance to connect with them. Or at least pretend I am.
What I’ve been doing is a very poor substitute for actual friendship. I think my biggest fault is not making time for people in person. To have old friends is a gift many in this world do not receive. I should see these people. Instead I stay at home and read books only a tiny percentage of people will ever care about. Probably less than a hundred people enjoy them. I’m often not in that number.
Friendships take work and I have been a lazy bitch. It’s good to gather with your friends. The ones that have known you a long time know you best.
Here’s a challenge. Seek out someone you haven’t talked to in a while and give them a call. Just to say hello. No pressure. If the talk is fun, make time to meet up. If that person is me, I’d be happy to try and crawl out of my West Oakland cave for a Shirley Temple.